What do Miss Schofield and ' the gang' find to talk about at their table in the canteen? Yesterday they were discussing the nasty rash Pauline Lucas's mother keeps getting on her elbows and there was quite a lively discussion about runner beans as part of a calorie-controlled diet. Miss Schofield puts her social success down to the fact that she doesn't talk about herself and she laughs, of course. She always laughs.

• Alan Bennett

• Ian Targett
• Constance Chapman
• Max Hafler